The one about shame, ridicule, and offensive swimwear
I try not to take myself too seriously. Most of the time, I welcome a bit of ridicule.
When people laugh at me, I’m usually the one laughing the loudest.
When I was 14 I was an extra in a BBC programme about Tudor schools. I spent the whole day at my school in Tudor dress (there were tights - it wasn’t a strong look).
During the lunch break, still in full costume, I managed to run head first into a glass door in the sports hall. I thought it was open. It wasn’t. Most of my year group were in the hall. There was a lot of laughter. It was all directed at me (to be fair, it was a very funny moment which still gets brought up).
I’m used to doing stupid things. And I’m used to being laughed at.
But something happened this week that gave me pause for thought. I posted some videos and pictures of me and my little girl playing on a paddleboard in the sea. I happened to be wearing a pair of Falmouth Rugby Club ‘budgie smugglers’ (Speedos for my US friends!) from Oddballs - an underwear company that aims to raise awareness of testicular cancer - a fairly worthy cause to support in my eyes.
I appreciate that men in tight, skimpy swimwear might not be for everyone. But I was slightly taken aback by the vomiting emojis that popped up in the comments and in my WhatsApp messages.
I’m in half decent shape right now, but that hasn’t always been the case. I also have very few hang ups and thick skin. And, like I mentioned above, I don’t mind people taking the piss out of me - after all, I’m an easy target and fair game for a bit of banter.
But what if I wasn’t? What if I had a whole bunch of hang ups that no one knows about? What if this led to me feeling ashamed of what I chose to wear to the beach with my family?
I just want to be clear here - I don’t have hang ups and I totally appreciate the intention behind the vomiting emojis and see the funny side. However, other people will have hang ups and no one should be made to feel ashamed for how their body looks or what they choose to wear.
A good friend of mine and incredible athlete, Helena Collins, posted this on Instagram earlier this week. Go read it. Helena is an inspiration, one of the hardest working people I know, and an all-round awesome human. She pushes boundaries and lifts those up who train with her.
Yet, for some reason, people think it’s ok to tell her she’s ‘too muscley’ or ‘used to be attractive.’ And she’s not alone. I recently started following this Instagram account - you.look.like.a.man - which shares the horrendous things people (men and women) say about female athletes. Seriously, go and check it out. It’s very funny but it’s also awful the things people think they can get away with saying.
I’ve got no idea why people choose to belittle others. And I’m not saying everyone should be super fans or celebrate everything. That’s equally ridiculous. But - as long as they aren’t hurting themselves or anyone else - people shouldn’t be shamed for what they choose to do.
Budgie smugglers are the least of my worries though. This week alone I’ve been mocked for:
Previously owning an Audi TT. (I loved this car! It has my initials on it! It had black alloys! It was so cool. But, apparently, it’s a ‘hairdressers’ car and I should have been driving something more ‘manly.’
Crying at Masterchef. (Honestly, this programme gets me every time.)
Thinking Frozen II is better than The Rise of Skywalker. (It is. Hands down.)
Drinking White Claw. (Cult American fruity, alcoholic drink. It’s bloody lovely. Not masculine enough though.)
Loving Taylor Swift. (I’m a secret fan anyway but the new album she dropped this week that’s produced by Aaron Dessner from The National and features Bon Iver is already a contender for album of the year. And if you hear a better love song than this in 2020 I’ll be amazed.)
Wearing vests. And taking my shirt off before the workout started at CrossFit. (I was already sweating 🤷♂️)
Again, like I said, I really don’t mind this at all and (most of the time) think it’s very funny.
Equally, there’s nothing wrong with guys who want to wear speedos, listen to Tay-tay, and drive around in an Audi TT. And there’s nothing wrong with women who want to lift heavy, listen to rock metal, and around in a big white van.
Maybe, just maybe, we should judge a little less, be a little kinder, and let people live their lives as they see fit? Wouldn’t that be a nice world to live in?
Until next time,
TT x
PS - if anyone wants to buy me this 'Dramatic & Unnecessary' vest from you.look.like.a.man's merch I'll love you forever ;-)