“Thank you, for being you”

“Thank you,” she said, blue eyes sparkling in the summer sun.

“What for?” I asked.

“For being you.”

I took a minute and let the words roll through me, sink in, settle. Those five words don’t seem like a huge deal at first. But, actually, they’re everything.

All of us, to a different extent, hide behind what we project to the world. We’re scared to be seen. We’re scared to be judged. We’re scared to be vulnerable.

Whether it's our personal lives, our hobbies, our jobs - we all put masks on and we show that face to the world, our true face somewhere underneath that mask. In the dark. In shadow.

I know I’m guilty of this. 

I always felt a vague sense of unease whenever I did things like admit to my friends the only books I liked reading were fantasy fiction. Or, actually, I’d choose a nice spa day over a night on the beers every single time. Or I sing Disney songs really loudly in the shower (or on drunken walks home). 

But, worse than the superficial, I felt I could never show weakness. I had to always be strong. By virtue of being a man, I couldn’t show emotion, feelings should always be held at arm’s length, and there are certain ways of existing I had to adhere to. 

That, somehow, life was a competition. Something to be won rather than something to be lived.

It led to me always feeling the need to prove myself, to find validation and acceptance from others - rather than finding it in myself.

I can remember once I was asked what my biggest fears were: “Not being good enough, letting people down, not being liked” were my answers.

Writing it down like this makes me laugh because it seems so daft. But it’s how I was.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy doing things well, I like being good at things, I want to push myself, to keep on learning, to grow as a person and to push the boundaries of my own possibilities.

The difference is mindset. I’m not doing this for anyone else. It isn’t for validation. It isn’t to look good in the eyes of others. It’s because I want to. For me.

And it’s from this position I’ve learnt to let go. I’ve learnt to not just accept, but to love, the person I am.

I’ve learnt it’s ok to be me. It’s ok to like and do all the different things I enjoy without fear of shame and ridicule. And it’s ok to let people see every little facet and aspect of who I am - because the ones who don’t like it don’t matter and the ones who do celebrate in it with me.

It’s these people who put me in a place where worries and self doubt evaporate. Where I can sink into my own being and express myself freely, without being judged. It’s this place, this way of being, that’s potent with power and with beauty. 

When we have the courage (or are given a gentle nudge) to step into and exist in this place, to accept our nature, and to smile back at ourselves, then our true selves and true reality become manifest.

Which brings me back to the start.

“Thank you for being you.”

Is there a better thing you can say to someone? I’m not sure there is. If someone sees you - and sees all of you, not just the parts you choose to let them see - and expresses gratitude for you being your pure, unfiltered, unmasked self then everything, all of a sudden, makes sense. Worries are lifted, a spring jumps into your step, and an ocean of endless possibilities opens up in front of you.

So what to take from all this? 

There are billions of people in the world. But there’s only one of you. And if you try to be someone you’re not, you’ll fail. Or, at least if you don’t fail, you’ll never feel complete. 

Realise the power of you. Know you don’t need permission or validation to do anything. Go out there and be your own unashamed, brilliant, beautiful selves because, by the virtue of being yourself, you make your world and the world around you an infinitely better, happier, more magical place.